Dear Pop Culture Fiends,
Perhaps I'm just getting old and curmudgeony, or I just spend far too much time doing work for grad school... but ENOUGH. Unless it's Halloween, there is no need to mimic Lady Gaga's (or god forbid Snookie's, or even Arrested Development never-nude jorts) wardrobe out on the weekends
and post a facebook album dedicated to the adventure, nor must you now use 'tiger blood' and 'winning' in every sentence and laugh because you're clearly not as crazy as Charlie Sheen (though potentially still less funny... which is scary). I mean, I like to check in on the good old People.com from time to time, but I don't structure my evenings around my shows (or Netflix/Hulu queue), nor do my personal emails have more to do with the lives of celebrities I'll never meet (this includes 16 and pregnant stars who are now on magazine covers) than my own. Call me self centered, but I think those I talk with would like to know more about me than about which Showtime stars eloped and then got divorced last week. Additionally, unless you're on SNL, there's no need to mimic the language and idiosyncrasies of those you see on TV (except Bieber hair.. that's fair game)
I guess what I'm trying to say here is be like Sarah Palin and read EVERYTHING that comes across your desk, not just the US Weekly. Please... I'm begging you.