Whether you are an ant, or a fruit fly, or a box elder bug, or a moth... you were not invited into my apartment. I've been extremely patient with you, I think. But honestly, get out of my house. There is plenty of room outside for you, and nothing for you to eat in here anyway.
Since I have not signed any peace treaties I'm under no obligation to treat your prisoners of war humanely. I will not be merciful to your armies anymore. I will not capture and release you. I will not bother to dissuade you from entering the kill zone. This is my territory, and you are not permitted to stay here alive. This means you will be faced with flip flop swats and squishings, toilet drownings, and when necessary you will be vacuumed alive and left to die. I'm very serious. Cut the shit and leave me be. I'm enough of a spaz without having to deal with your antics too. I am your worst enemy.
With disdain, loathing, and ruthless cruelty,
Lia
lia, i really enjoy your blog. =) i can def get behind this entry in particular. flip-flop swats should probably be listed on my official peace corps "description of service."
ReplyDeletejulie ann