Dear Ikea

Dear Ikea,

We have to have a talk. First, I want to say I agree that homegoods should not cost 1000 dollars each, and should be easy to fit in unnecessarily small cars. As an owner of a very small car, I appreciate this. I can fit nearly everything you sell in my trunk with the seats down, except perhaps a couch. It's absurdly efficient. I also actually enjoy the satisfaction of fake building my own furniture. It's the guitar hero of carpentry really. Completely underrated.

However, I do have one issue. Why do you believe that everyone who does not have appropriate closet space and needs a wardrobe has 11 foot ceilings? If I could afford a loft with huge ceilings, I probably could buy a better wardrobe. Though, even with 11 ft ceilings, I couldn't reach 1/3 of the wardrobe you would like to sell me for it, so this seems absolutely pointless. Perhaps because you Swedes are all very tall you forget that the lowly American's are not all over 7 feet tall? Please explain. If you can offer a proper explanation, and send it certified to my home (ideally with a 6 pack of those magical cinnamon rolls), I suppose I will forgive you and humor the one wardrobe that you sell that will fit my apartment.

Best wishes you giant Swedes,

Lia