Dear Newlyweds

Dear Newlyweds,

You really are adorable. Despite my hesitation about the entire forever and ever thing, I think y'all are very sweet. To those who have only been dating for a little while and just decided to go for it to those who have been together for years and years and just thought it was time to make it official. You're all great. And the way you interact is nearly inspiring. But I have just one question. Do you REALLY think you married the one BEST man or woman in the entire world? Really?

I know you love them more than anyone else. I get that. Love is a crazy thing and makes us do and say crazy things. And heck, everything right now is rose petals and sunshine and cooing. We'll bare with that part. But let's have a little honesty. She is no Mother Theresa in Taylor Swift's body. And little wifey, he does not have super hero strength and a willingness to sacrifice his life for starving children. Sorry to break it to you. She just works at Target, and laughs at your jokes and cooks you dinner, and he just works at Best Buy and loves to be outside, and buys you nice things. I'm really not trying to downplay your love story, or how wonderful of a fit you are - you're great! Let's hang out. But let's be honest about who we all are... I'm just someone who speaks the truth even when it's a bit harsh, and you're probably just pretty average, kinda boring, pleasant and giddy newly married people. And that's okay.

Here's hoping you have endless years of delusional love,

Lia